Couple’s Weekend In London And How I Realised I Am Not Cool

 

Recently I’ve been spending long hours training at the hospital to be a Healthcare Assistant! To those unfamiliar with UK NHS terminology, a healthcare assistant is someone who helps patients with their personal care, such as washing and eating. I’m very excited for my first (12.5 hour lol) shift on Friday but until then, my boyfriend and I fancied a trip away and we decided to go to London!

We booked an Air Bnb in Battersea (5 mins walk away from Chelsea – oi oi Bluebird Cafe, famous ‘Made In Chelsea’ brunches) and were looking forward to a somewhat cultural (enough to tell parents what we did) time together (which was most important).

1. The V&A

Ever since my 13th birthday trip to this museum it has been my absolute favourite. If you’re into art, fashion, costume, theatre, photography – V&A will always deliver. Set against the backdrop of South Kensington it gives you a chance to dream of new real-estate goals as well as the possibility of bumping into the cast of ‘Made In Chelsea’!

The only downside of this museum compared to most others in London is that the special exhibitions require purchasing tickets (usually £12+). Being students, we decided some of the free exhibitions would do. At the time there was an exhibition about Plywood – a versatile material made of lots of thin sheets of wood compressed together. What I learnt on that day was how much people were willing to pretend something is super interesting if it’s free. Queuing up to take pictures of the diagram of the production of plywood in wood factories… I mean come on???!!!

Having spent about 10 minutes looking at sheets of plywood, we spent another two hours having coffee in the V&A garden, dipping our feet in the fountain, watching tourists try to fight off sturdy British pigeons. That was the best part of the day. 🙂

2. The Tate Modern

Lots of art. In random order. Got lost in a painting-trail maze. Sat through clips of Polish-army-picnics, Austrian-right-wing-leader-funeral, protests in Isreal. Just really needed to sit down. Don’t love the atmosphere of art galleries I must say. Trying to read a tiny painting description, feeling three other people’s breaths on your neck as they’re doing the same, in an air of pretentious contemplation.

3. The Moomin Shop in Covent Garden

I was mistaken before – this was definitely the best part of the day!!! I came, I got a moomin lanyard for work, I conquered.

moomin shop opening covent garden london december 2010

4. Shoreditch

This is where our story begins… Let me give you a bit of context – having visited London many times for different reasons I cannot go to see any more sights – no more Big Ben, no more Buckingham Palace, no more being carried by the crowds on Oxford Street. I’ve maxed out my tourist card and must start acting like a local, and going to the places the locals go!

Go to Shoreditch, they said. It will be fun, they said. You’re young, you’ll like it.

One of the more recent attractions at Shoreditch is the Boxpark. It’s lots of shipping containers, each its own cafe or hipster shop, converted into a sort of cool-hang-out-area. Now I’ve always thought I was easy-going enough to pass for ‘cool’, I was even wearing my Zara cactus jeans! But this was a whole other level… As you walk up the steps to the Boxpark, even the high-vis staff look like they’re judging you, not to mention walking through the bar/shisha areas… Suddenly my cactus jeans seemed mainstream and were letting me down for the first time. Should we get a drink here? But everyone seems like they’ve come in big groups and the only spaces at the tables are among these groups… Stress levels were high. At this point, I was wishing I had facial piercings, and a really high-up fringe.

We kept walking and promising that we’d get that drink at some other bar (I already knew it wasn’t going to happen). The walk down Brick Lane was actually fun, it was very empty and we got to see world-famous places like the Cereal Killer Cafe and loads of street art that Shoreditch is known for. And then we approached more open-air bar areas… My boyfriend kept asking ‘do you like this’ ‘do you want to go in there’ and I’d find a reason to walk by each one. Something about so many bouncers at every corner, the loud groups, overpriced alcohol, the ever-so-stylish and out-there outfits of people who I SWEAR were looking at us, made me feel like this is the last place I wanted to be in.

As we exited the area and ended up by a Tesco Express (bless you Tesco for bringing normality back into my life) I couldn’t help but get teary as I was feeling so foolish and disappointed in myself for being 20, a student, the sort of person who goes out and is good with people, and not being able to go for a drink at a bar in a place that is literally targetted at people like me??? but y???

I kept apologising to my boyfriend, who could not understand where this guilt was coming from and kept reassuring me, but I just felt bad. I felt bad that I wasn’t the cool girlfriend I wanted to be, I was worried that when he goes on his year abroad to a trendy city I will no longer fit in (throwing a random one in there I know), and even more strangely I felt bad that I wasn’t the cool hip daughter my dad thought I might be when he recommended me the place.

To top it all of, as said boyf lit up a cigarette, I said ‘ok at least let me have a toke of it, that will be my ‘cool‘ of the day’, bearing in mind I don’t smoke, so I breathe it in and just as forcefully cough it back out. ‘Would you say this sums up your experience of Shoreditch?’ he said. Oh yes, yes it did.

So what is it about cool places that seem amazing on paper, that makes me feel like a baby among grown-ups? Why do I feel like they’re not for me and I should play the role of the observer? I’m not usually this self-conscious, so why did this happen?? I get a similar feeling with small hip independent coffee shops… where do I order?? what’s the procedure here?? Do other people there think I don’t fit in?

Honestly, this rather pathetic fear is the thing I want to change most about myself. Sometimes, I choose going to a coffee chain rather than a shop I would love to go to, just because I know how everything works…

If anyone reading this is a cool person please help!!! How do you do it? Do you have any advice?

I would love to hear from you (if you don’t unfollow me having learnt how uncool I am),

autumnskyes